I gather that Dr. Keiji Fukuda of WHO today said the two suspected Ebola cases in Sierra Leone are now "probable." That sent me on a frustrated hunt through Sierra Leone's online media, where I found this tongue-in-cheek item listed under "Ariogbo Gossip": Ebola Scare Hits Hospital… DOCTORS, NURSES, PATIENTS RUNAWAY! I wouldn't take it too seriously, but it shows Sierra Leoneans can laugh at themselves. Excerpt:
The ways of Ariogbos are very unlike the ways of ordinary, feeble, short and short-sighted humans in this low place called Lion Mountain.
Look at what humans say happened at Con Knot Hospital in Free City last week Wednesday. They say a human who went to report himself to medical doctor on suspicion he could have contracted the dreaded Ebola virus caused pandemonium, stampede and total confusion when everyone in the hospital fled in order to distance themselves as far away from the possible case of Ebola!
Humans say it was kuss kass, dombolo and total wahal that fateful Wednesday evening when a human arrived at Con Knot Hospital to report to a trained and qualified medical doctor of many years practice that his body was scratching, he was having frequent stool; that he experienced fever, sore throat and symptoms of diarrhea among other signs medically recognized as Ebola symptoms.
No sooner the medico had listened to the young man explaining how he was feeling, it suddenly dawned on the smart doctor that the man standing before him had actually confessed to having ALL the EBOLA SYMPTOMS as announced over the air and on newspapers by the Ministry of Heart, Muscle and Stress (MoHS).
What! Foot watin are eat, way are nor gee you?! It was kita kata at the hospital. The news about a man with Ebola arriving at the hospital spread like wildfire and before you could say WAN BLOCK, come see doctors, nurses, support staff at the hospital and even patients, some holding their drip in their hands and running as if they were in a competition to win a ten million US Dollars prize!
It was complete and total CONFUSION. Patients tumbled over doctors and nurses wrestled with nurses as they fought each other to gain access out of the hospital!
The situation was really tense even by Ariogbo standards. But then, patients have a right to run if only to save their precious lives from further threat. But doctors and nurses…well, as I usually say, the business of humans is really no business of an Ariogbo. I am not the one saying all of this oh!
If nothing else, I've gained a useful expression or two. In Jeddah, hospital conditions could also be described as "kuss kass, dombolo, and total wahal, " with a little "kita kata" thrown in for good measure.